My soul would always recognise you even if mind won’t be able to recall who you are. – she replied without taking any other moment while playing with her hairs.
So You are the door I will keep on knocking whenever I have something to cry upon or to celebrate. Make sure I would always have a key for this house.
There was a time when I was lost, broken, bruised, my soul was torn, ripped apart and shaky. All I wanted to disappear or die. When people see me today, they are like – no, that can’t be you. You are full of life and are an amazing person. But yes, it was me, who just wanted to die, who wanted not to see the next rising Sun or next setting Sun. All I wanted and wished was a painless death, as there was so much pain in life. Life could have been like this – so ugly, so rough, so painful. Every night, I used to wish not to see the sun again. But how fateful I was that my wish never been heard.
There came a light in my darkest hour, when I was sinking, lost myself completely and up-to my surprise I heard -” I LOVE YOU. I died for you, I want you to live for me. I have paid your wages. This place and these situations does not belongs to you. Hold my hand, I will take you to the places and peace. You are my child. You belong to me. Come lets stand up and move from here coz you belong to me.”
I looked at myself, how unfaithful I was with my parents, my siblings and with God even. And here my eternal father is still saying that he loves me. I had tears in my eyes, not of pain but of acceptance. No matter what I have done but he still loves me. I asked him – “where to go?” and he said – “home, That’s the place you belong to.” I stood, hold his hand, and came home. To my surprise, no one asked me any single question why I did this or that. They all accepted me with open arms, helped me to stand once again with my head held straight. Today I am not the same girl as people think of me, I am a free bird and don’t sit anywhere, I have a home. Yes, I go out in search of food but at the dawn I return to my home, to my people. How blessed I m to have a home.
Today, all I want is to live, for the Daddy who gave his life for me, for my parents, family and friends.
I don’t consider that phase as a bad phase. It was just a phase where I learned the value of life, of family, of food, of money but nothing is above the love, the love of God.
I have a great family, good friends and money in pocket. I don’t have everything I want but I have things I need.
The best thing I did till date is to live when all I wanted is to die.
“Babes, don’t leave me. We can sort it out” Said prashant to Sneha and holds her hand. Sneha shrugged his hands and again started packing her belongings in the black Trolley bag which she recently purchased as they had planned an outing. She was angry, furious, disappointed and broken. Tears were continuously running down from her pink cheeks and her eyes were swollen. Prashant was still giving trying to stop her. It seems like this time she was not in any dilemma and has decided to leave prashant and wasn’t listening to him at all. The only thing she was doing continuously was packing her suitcase with tears in her eyes. Prashant’s voice was echoing in the background- “think about me. Think about us. How I am gonna live without you? I need you. I need you here in this house with me. It’s a 6years relationship, don’t break it because of a small mistake.”
Sneha blasted – “SMALL MISTAKE! So Mr Prashant Deshwal, you still think that its a small mistake. It’s the fourth time you have done it. I should have understood in the first instance itself – Once a cheater is always a cheater. And once you catch them, next time they will play it more smartly. I am done with you and with your so called fake us and leaving you and your house.”
Prashant kept on saying that he loves her. He kept on saying sorry and asking for her forgiveness. But this time seems like Sneha had become a stone who was unable to hear anything and the only constant thing was tears from her eyes.
She packed the bag, took her office bag and phone and started moving towards the main door of the house. Prashant blocked her way and started pleading again. He tried to make her remember all the promises they had made to each other. All the vows they had taken together within these 6 years. He was constantly asking for forgiveness and reminding her that ‘us time’, promises and vows which they had done to each other.
Sneha interrupted him in between and asked him – “ok, tell me what’s my favourite colour?”
Prashant was like- “ummm, it’s pink.”
Sneha- “No, its red. And I hate pink. Well urs is off white. I am correct. Isn’t it?
Prashant said – yes, you are.
Sneha again asked, “tell me my favourite food.”
Prashant said – Rajma rice.
“No Prashant. It’s your favourite. Well mine is Pasta” said Sneha. “Ok! Leave that and tell me whats my favourite destination?” She asked.
Prashant was quiet as he wasn’t sure of the answer.
Sneha again asked,”what makes me smile the most? What touches me the most? What is my favourite thing to do in the whole world?”
Prashant held up his hands motioning Sneha to stop. “Where is this coming from and why are you asking me all this right now?” asked prashant.
Sneha looked at him, knowing that he couldn’t answer any of these questions, she asked, correctly. “Because every time, I walk away from you. You beg me to come back swearing that you love me. But how can you love someone that you don’t even know?” said Sneha and left prashant. This time Prashant does not have anything to say to stop her as well.