Unnecessary force breaks and once something or someone is broken can never ever come in the same shape, may become more or less beautiful and worthy but never same.
Every scar has a story to tell which can only be read by very few.
It’s been a while to write anything. Tried to make up my mind multiple times to do so but I wasn’t sure about what to write and my mind was so blank at times that I felt like I was just passing the time here on Earth and one day it all will end. Thank God! I am back on track. I am again ready to handle the world with love, sarcasm, wit, kindness, emotions and apathy.
I am dedicating this post to any person who has gone through abuse – verbal, physical, emotional and mental and I will be trying to do complete justice according to my own limited knowledge and mind.
Yes, I know its a long story. It happened days, weeks, months, years or may be decades ago. And I also know that you are still not 100% over it. You are still trying to breath freely, still scared and gasping for air. Things still haunts you. You still find solace in empty, lonely places. You still avoid parties, gathering or crowded sites. According to people who know your story it’s a long and old story and you should be habitual and over from what happened but you are not. You still connect things.
But it’s OK. Trust me, it’s Ok.
I must say it’s perfectly ok. Let people say and think whatever they want to. Your life was a mess because of somebody else. You and only you know how you came out of that, how you survived, what path you have traveled and how many sleepless nights u have seen. Lets not explain anything to them because they don’t deserve or earned it and won’t even understand.
The trauma which you are going through is personal and it should not be validated by anyone. I know you are still fighting a battle daily in your mind with the person who is no more in contact. And you may have to fight till the last day. Verbal, Emotional, Physical and Mental abuses have residual effects and they just don’t fade away. They just don’t.
I know you were victimized, that was not a fair fight, you did not ask for it and yes, you lost it too. But trust me, there is no shame in losing such fights. Now look, you have reached at the stage of a Survivor and you are no longer a slave of victim status. You have all the control of your life. Lead it the way you want. Eat, drink, play and do whatever you like without giving a second thought. Let others decide. Don’t give a damn to anyone. Whenever you feel like things are haunting you, don’t run away – it’s not the solution, turn and look back, look back in the eyes of terror and tell the past you don’t live there anymore and it has no control over you. You are a new creation with an astonishing self confidence and new learnings plus you are a survivor and know well how to deal with any mess. You know what doesn’t kill, makes stronger.
Look forward with hope rather than despair. Start helping others to grow more. The abuser doesn’t stand a chance when victim decides to survive. You gave the power to someone to break you. You are still the person in control. Snatch that power back as they misused it against you. No one owes the power to break you. You and only you have got that power. In order to fly You need to shed all the weight which you are carrying in your heart and in your mind. Now you are not weak, you are not a loser. You are a Hero because you are changing the world by saying no to abuse and abuser.
You may never forget but you need not to constantly remember -You were a victim.
YOU ARE A SURVIVOR
A MIGHTY WARRIOR
I am proud of you.